Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month.
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
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