Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize
