beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
this is an emotional support booty call
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
Randomize
