oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
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