dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
Randomize