so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
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