Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
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