how could I be having a bad time, I have the three most important things in life: Goat cheese, Xanax, and Saved By the Bell Re-runs.
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
