Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
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