remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
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