no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
Randomize
