Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
Randomize
