when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
We need to feng shui this bitch.
Randomize
