That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
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