if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
Randomize
