New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
