everyone is single if you try hard enough
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
Randomize
