I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
There's a naked man in my car right now.
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
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