It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
The best revenge is premature balding
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
Randomize
