I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
Randomize
