Me too!
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
