Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
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