remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
Randomize
