Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
