im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
Randomize
