It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
Randomize
