He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
Randomize
