Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
be right there i have to get my cape
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
try to milk me bitch
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