Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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