I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
I was not drunk enough for that final.
Randomize
