I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
Randomize
