is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
True strength comes from lack of pants
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Randomize
