So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
Randomize
