I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
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