some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Randomize
