we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
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