I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
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