so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Randomize
