Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
I want to be your penis for a week.
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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