I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
Randomize
