"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
Why do all the Father's Day cards talk about what a great dad they are? Why can't there be one that says something like "Thanks for sticking it to mom and making me possible, your sperm was appreciated."
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
Two words: nipple clamps
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