I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
Randomize
