i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize
