i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
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