i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
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