Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
