The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
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