i wish my penis had a tongue
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
