That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
Sacagawea was the original milf.
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
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