i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
This is my gift to your gina
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
Cover your peen. We're going out.
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
