Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Randomize