Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
Randomize
