i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
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