First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
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