No awkward lesbian experiences without me
Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
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