i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
Randomize
