He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
I wish I only lived at night.
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
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