That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize
