I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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