So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
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