She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
Randomize
