On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
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