In the future we'll all be gay
when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
Randomize
