woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
