Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
Randomize
