Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
Sorry my hands just texted you
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
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