No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
try to milk me bitch
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
Randomize
