How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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