she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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