i barfeds in our rink
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
Randomize
