you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
Randomize
