it wasn't lemon gatorade
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
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