just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
Randomize
