physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
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