Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Randomize
